Year End Reflections

                There is something so exciting and magical about a new year. Yes, as some pessimists love to point out, it’s just another day in reality. And yes, those “new year, new me” resolutions usually don’t make it halfway through January for most people. But even still, it’s a rush like no other and a legitimate new beginning for many of us.

                For me, it’s a very important time of deep reflection. I have a distinct process I follow every New Year’s Day that has become more refined over the years. I reserve the day to reflect back on the previous year and take inventory of the things I’ve accomplished. Even more important than this, I spend a lot of time setting goals and intentions for the year ahead. I meditate, read enlightening material, rest, and basically take a “me” day to practice self-love. It's an awesome way to start the year off right!

                Planning and preparing have been critical steps in achieving my dreams and desires. It really works, guys. I promise! So here are my tips for your own special “New Year” routine that I highly encourage you to make time for.

1. Review the goals you set for the last year. If you didn’t set any, then shame on you! If you did, then sit there and really analyze what you did and did not accomplish. For goals that you knocked out, you absolutely deserve to celebrate and feel proud of yourself. It’s an amazing feeling to earn something you set out to do and worked hard at! For things that did not come to fruition, simply let it be a lesson learned. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT beat yourself up about it! It’s called life. Every single one of us will miss targets we set or have things come up that prevent us from achieving goals, or maybe we just didn’t get around to it. Perhaps you didn’t lose weight or get into shape, or get the new job you wanted. It’s absolutely fine, as long as you don’t dwell on it or feel guilty. Instead, channel that energy to crush a lingering goal in the next year. I even go as far as to grade myself on how well I did on each goal, and I use negative scores to motivate me. Being honest is key!

2. Revisit and reevaluate your long term goals. Again, if you don’t have any or don’t write them down, get on it! This is so important, it’s not even funny. Each one of us should have a list of things to accomplish not only in the next year, but also in the next 5 year time frame. These could be things like make X amount of money, pay off debt, volunteer, buy a home, earn a degree, start a business. Items that you may not be able to realistically accomplish in one year, but are actively working on. Also remember to be flexible, as sometimes your goals change as you grow and your direction shifts. I used to list having a kid and buying a home as important goals, but those things are no longer on my list at this point in my life. That is totally okay! Even further, writing down your bucket list of things to do before you die (places to travel to, learning to play an instrument or speak a language, running a marathon, etc.) is also helpful and even fun. We all have a million things we say we want to do eventually and usually never get around to, but actually putting in on paper and organizing your aspirations makes it official. This way you are far more likely to go after these things and make dreams a reality, no matter how big or how small.

      3. Benchmark yourself. Compare where you were at this time last year with where you are today. In what ways have you changed? Is your life better, worse, or the exact same? Are you happier? Goals are crucial, but it's what's on the inside that counts. We should always be able to say we have grown, evolved, and become better in some way. Complacency is dangerous! Always make sure you are progressing into the best you. A new year is the perfect point in time to assess where you were and where you stand now.


4. Set new goals for the coming year. What are you seeking to accomplish this year? This can be continuations of already existing goals, such as working hard in your career, but also make sure to add some new ones too. Push and challenge yourself. The sky is the limit! However, remember to keep your goals attainable, realistic, measurable, and practical.

5. Set your intentions. This goes even deeper than goals. Goals are what you want to do, while intentions are what you want to be, kind of like goals that are intangible or more internal. What priorities do you want to focus on in the new year? What specific areas are most important? Your health, family, spirituality, finances, hobbies? Or maybe it’s just self-love and confidence? What vibes are you setting for how you want to live your life? Do you want to live more positively, live in the moment, or get rid of toxic people and learn to say no? Do you want to spend more time on gratitude, eat healthier, save more money, or be better about time management? Picking a few areas of focus will really set the tone for the coming year.

6. Dig deeper to ask yourself some tough questions. It’s not like most of us do this often throughout the year, so this time of self-awareness and conscious effort is the perfect opportunity to get heavy. Here are some I use for myself:

o   What am I grateful for?

o   How have I changed for the better?

o   What things do I need to work on?

o   What is holding me back or preventing me from things I have not been able to accomplish?

o   Where do you I see myself in 10 years? 

o   What am I doing to make the world a better place?

o   What are my core values?

o   What do I want people to say about me when I die? (a REALLY heavy one for ya!)

o   Who is important to me?

o   What do I need to let go of?

o   How do I make people feel when they’re around me?

o   What is my ultimate purpose in this lifetime?

7. Create a vision board, or work on your existing one. A godsend for us visual folks. This is done many ways for different people, but for me it involves cutting out words or pictures from magazines that embody my goals and dreams and piecing them together in a large presentation. I place this in my bedroom in a place where I see it every day. Doing this makes these things become more ingrained into your mind so you think about them constantly, which is important since our thoughts are vibrations that attract similar vibrations. Don't underestimate how powerful visualization is. It’s a highly effective tool that will channel your energy to manifest everything you look at on this board every day. My mother taught me this when I was younger but I just recently realized how important this is, and the more I work on mine, the more it helps to brings amazing things I want into my life.

      8. Write in a journal. Making lists is one thing, but sometimes it’s also great to just let yourself write. This is something that no one ever has to see, and something you yourself never have to read again if you don’t want to. So be honest and let it flow freely. You’ll be surprised at how much comes out and how therapeutic it can be. It’s been the greatest tool for healing and self-discovery for me personally. Also, if you're struggling with forgiveness, write the person who wronged you a letter that you'll never give to them. Let it all out. It works miracles and is the key to letting go and moving forward. 

9. Meditate. I know people have different feelings and experiences with meditation, and believe me it’s something I still struggle with and do not make nearly enough time for. But it’s so imperative! Even if you just sit in silence and observe your thoughts, it is truly incredible how transformative and peaceful this can be.

      10. Pray. This is another powerful tool and what better time than during this process? Pray for your goals to manifest and for guidance along the way. Whether you use crystals, oils, or just simply talk to your Creator, ask for blessings, clarity, focus, prosperity, success, love, and anything else you'd like for the new year.

I know all of this is difficult for some people to do, and others may scoff at how cumbersome this can be. But for many of us it’s absolutely necessary to our success and really helps. I personally cannot imagine how anyone can get ahead or live their dreams without putting in the work to strategize, plan, and look within. It has been extremely effective and profound for me in so many ways! Definitely worth the effort and the small investment in time.

A final tip is that this does not have to be limited New Year’s Day. A new year can definitely facilitate transformation like no other time. For me, this is what works best since I like to take advantage of the tremendous energy shift that occurs at this time. However, it could be whenever your heart desires or when the mood strikes. This is all about you and what works best. Also, it’s also just as important to spend time throughout the year to review and reassess everything periodically to make sure you’re on track. A monthly check-in and mid-year review work great for me.

Good luck and Happy New Year to each of you! Hope 2016 is filled with positivity, blessings, good vibes, and everything you want to manifest!

XOXO ❤️

On this day...

I really love the "On this Day" feature on Facebook, where you can see what you posted on the same day years ago. I'm really sentimental and often nostalgic, so I love to reminisce on stuff from the past and reflect on what has changed since then...

...Except for today, when I read my post from 11/25/2014, which brought a tear to my eye. It was about Mike Brown's murder and the Ferguson riots. It just suddenly hit me that 365 days later, we as a country are far more divided than even one year ago. The fight for justice and equality has not seen any progress. If anything, we are going backwards. Sandra Bland, Freddie Gray, and countless others have joined the list of people who have lost their lives for absolutely no reason. Donald Trump has spread false stereotypes and bigotry towards Latinos and the working class, and amazingly, he actually has full fledge support from many. Discrimination against Muslims is at an all time high. Hatred for homosexuals and gay marriage is rampant. Transgender people even got to see people's true feelings about them come out when Caitlyn Jenner's transition was revealed. The media has made everything worse by not covering positive stories like the Million Man March or pivotal moments like the horrifying shooting of a historic black church in Charleston, meanwhile twisting stories around and manipulating the truth for shock value. People have actively spoken out against the entire #blacklivesmatter movement because they still somehow cannot acknowledge that racism exists, that our system is broken, and that privileged people don't do enough about it; even after peaceful protesters were shot just days ago by white supremacists in Minnesota. And now, we turn our back on refugees fleeing for their lives. ALL of this happened in the last year. I really can't wrap my brain around it. I have never been more hopeless about this country than now.

So this Thanksgiving, I hope those of you who are not burdened by these (and MANY other) events are very thankful. If you don't have to worry about being killed by police or seeing your son lie dead in the street, you're truly blessed. If you aren't treated like a second class citizen, consider yourself lucky. If you aren't regularly judged based on your religion, race, ethnicity, social class, or sexual orientation, you should be very grateful. If your family members are alive and you have a home to celebrate this holiday in, you're doing better than many. But that doesn't mean that this isn't a reality for millions of other people. We live in the best country in the world and we should all be thankful to be here, but we have work to do and us being divided is not helping. So yes, my heart is heavy yet again and yours should be too. 

The most admirable human trait in my opinion is empathy, the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others and feel compassion for them. Imagine if we all said a prayer to make things better, how much love, positive energy and blessings we could send to people in need. Even if you won't take a stand and speak out against wrongdoing and unjust events, please consider praying that this country improves and unites. 

XOXO ❤️

My First Tokyo Experience

                Japan. A country that’s made such a profound impact on the rest of the world, from technology and cars, food, and cultural phenomena such as geishas, sumo wrestling, karate and samurais, anime and gaming, and so many other cherished obsessions around the world. For me, it’s always been a place of wonder and fascination.

            Since I now live in Hawaii, this was a natural choice for my first Asian vacation, although I feel like a traitor since I’m 1/4 Korean. But hey, a large majority of tourists and Asian residents here in Hawaii are Japanese, so there are a plethora of affordable nonstop flights. Plus, I figured Japan is Westernized enough that it’s a good cherry popper for visiting Asia, rather than other places I also want to go such as China, Thailand and India, which would induce much higher culture shock without warming up first.

            Even still, Japan was a lot to get used to and take in. It’s overwhelming and outrageous for us Americans in so many ways, but it was thrilling and incredible at the same time. The American influence in Japan is heavy and can be felt everywhere you go. The one thing that I definitely did not expect to be so and and definitely struggled with the most was the language barrier, which made things difficult at times. Since so much is written in English alongside Japanese, you assume people know English, but they’re shy about speaking it. As Americans, we tend to go out there and expect everything is catered to us and made easy. Japan was Americanized just enough for the naïve to survive, but foreign enough to really push you out of your comfort zone and make things interesting.

            My first impression of Japan was that everything I’d heard about it being immaculately clean was absolutely true. Even train stations and public restrooms were in much better condition than anywhere else I’ve been by far. I was really impressed. Another thing that proved itself to be true was that it was incredibly safe. I never once felt like I was in any danger. During my trip, I learned that this cleanliness and safety is due to the Japanese spending a considerable amount of time teaching children about CHARACTER in school. They learn the importance of integrity even before math and reading. So when they find a wad of cash or a wallet, they turn it in every time. And, as I witnessed, if they drop something on the ground, they are scolded to pick it up immediately. They do NOT litter, as it’s considered disrespectful (as it should be). This is a huge pet peeve of mine in the States and other countries where litter, spit, gum, and even urine line every street, so it was another thing that I loved seeing. They are definitely so ahead of Americans in ways like these.

            Tokyo is a city that you can truly explore on your own if you’re willing to do a bit of research and figure out the huge subway system that is extremely efficient and punctual. We took the trains everywhere and it involved a lot of walking, stairs, and crowds; but it was the best way to really see Japanese people firsthand and get the real Tokyo experience. However, it's best to avoid rush hour, as it gets unbelievably crowded, as you may have seen on an infamous Youtube/Facebook video where people are stuffed in a subway car like sardines. Once you get the hang of the different lines and stops [and learn to utilize great subway routing apps like Hyperdia], you'll be a pro. Definitely one of the best public transportation system I’ve used. Also if you ever travel here, keep in mind that the main Narita airport is about 2 hours away by car or train. The best option is the Narita Express train, which will cost a little more at 4000 Yen or $32 roundtrip, but it gets you to central Tokyo in under an hour.

On our first full day, we headed to the Disney area right outside of Tokyo since we wanted to visit Disney Sea, which has different themes revolving around different seas or bodies of water. It’s the only one in the world, so we went on a weekday to avoid weekend madness. It was my first time at a Disney park, so I got myself some Minnie ears and had fun. The next day, we ventured about an hour away via the subway to Kamakura, where I got to see a huge Buddha and then a gorgeous temple honoring my favorite deity, Guanyin, at the Hase Dera temple. This was one of the most beautiful and sacred places I got to see on this trip. After this, we visited the insanely busy Shibuya Crossing. When you see Tokyo on TV and in movies and there’s mobs of people crossing streets, this is what they’re showing you. It’s even more hectic in person. Finally, we headed to the Roppongi area, where I got to witness a gorgeous sunset on the rooftop of the 55 story Mori building. I could see the entire city including a great view of the Tokyo Tower, and in the reddish orange horizon, I could even see Mount Fuji! It was breathtaking and I could not believe my eyes. Simply unforgettable. I cannot recommend this “Tokyo City View” attraction enough.

Another highlight for me was visiting Senso-Ji, the oldest temple in Tokyo built it 645. It also consisted of a chaotic marketplace, pagodas, and beautiful gardens all before the magnificent shrine. There was an overwhelming amount of tourists, but that's all a part of the experience. This is an absolute must in Japan. Also, we visited the anime district Akihabara, known as “electric town” to witness the notorious flashing lights, big screens, and people dressed up as cartoon characters everywhere. I was in search of certain anime items for my nephews, which I never ended up finding, but oh well, I tried. What an experience. Anime is a huge deal here, so it's yet another incredibly busy area. Not too far from here, we headed to see the Emperor of Tokyo’s home, Imperial Palace. It’s tucked away so you can’t see much of it, but there’s a very iconic bridge leading to it where hundreds of people are trying to get a picture at any given time. This area is downtown Tokyo, and the fall foliage was just starting to come in so I really enjoyed seeing the colors. Also made a quick stop in the Ginza district just to check out this well-known upscale and high-end shopping area, which reminded me of Fifth Avenue. Speaking of which, much of Tokyo will remind you of an Asian version of New York City... well besides the occasional old world remnants, like a random pagoda amongst skyscrapers. Many areas (especially Shibuya and Shinjuku) reminded me of Times Square, though many times even more chaotic somehow.

One thing I was determined to do on this trip was to make it down to the Harajuku station. I have been obsessed with this area  and Japanese street fashion since Gwen Stefani introduced it to the American mainstream over a decade ago. It's basically a shopping mecca where young adults and teens frequent, often dressing in the outlandish outfits that Tokyo is famous around the world for. I was SO thrilled that I got to see some girls dressed in "Lolita" and "kawaii" styles walking around the main strip, which is lined with girly and pastel colored boutiques. I am swooning just at the memory of it.

Another bustling area of bright lights and action was Shinjuku. Here you’ll find more shopping, theme restaurants, and also seedy establishments, such as tiny bars where “salary men” go after work to “chat” with pretty women. Our whole reason for being here was to see the craziest production I’ll ever witness in my lifetime at the famous “Robot Restaurant”. Here, scantily clad Japanese girls will giggle, sing, dance, and fight clowns, robots, monsters, and even a giant shark, all among laser lights, glowsticks, fog, and explosions. It’s basically a live anime, or for some, a real-life nightmare. Total and complete ridiculousness, and a guaranteed good time. I cannot imagine visiting Tokyo and NOT seeing this!

On our last day, I had several hours before our 7PM flight, so I took the train to an area called Komagome to visit a gorgeous park, Rikugien, which is actually a garden of poetry. Fall colors made this a gorgeous hike, and you can even climb an easy trail to a great view of the park from the top of a hill. I know landscape gardens are such a big deal in Japanese culture, so I did not want to leave Tokyo without visiting one. Next, I headed back to the Harajuku station, since this was my favorite area by far, to shop and check out the sights again. I also visited the last attraction I was determined to see, the Meiji Jingu shrine. This consisted of a long walk in the forest to a very lovely and historic shrine.

Overall, I had a great and eye opening trip as expected. Tokyo is the most populous city in the world with almost 38 million people, all of whom seem to be in a big hurry. While those who work in the service industry are extremely professional, gracious, and polite, in general most of the population would come off as rude to many Americans. They hardly ever smile or show any emotion, they don’t cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough (which explains why so many wear masks), and they’ll walk right into you without an apology. But at the same time, this is a culture that deeply values respect, humility, and modesty. No one will point or stare at you, even though you stand out because you’re completely different. From what I could see, they seem to welcome foreigners, especially Americans. I thoroughly enjoyed the extremeness of it all. Safe to say, you can certainly add Tokyo to the growing list of cities I fell in love with.

XOXO ❤️

#peaceforparis

Paris is a magical city that has touched the hearts of many and will always be a treasure for all of the world. Personally, it has made the most profound impact on me, much more than any other place I've ever been. I fell so in love with everything that I literally could not stop myself from getting emotional the entire time I was there, and when I left I felt a deep longing and melancholy that really surprised me (and which still kind of lingers today). I have never been so moved and felt such a connection to a place. Not only because I have French heritage and family who still live there, but I think anyone can see why it's called the "city of love" and is such a favorite for many. It will forever have such a special place in my heart. 

To think of such a place being terrorized by evildoers is so devastating. My deepest prayers and my entire sympathy is with the victims of the attacks in Paris today, their loved ones coping with loss and devastation, and the entire city as it deals with the aftermath. Let us all send genuine vibrations of love, peace and healing their way. And most of all, let us all pray for humanity.

The Power of Positive Thinking

                A few weeks ago, I attended a motivational briefing at work titled “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Mark Jarema that was SO powerful, it left me extremely inspired and uplifted. So I definitely wanted to share some of my notes, as I feel this is too good not to share and can really help others. Mostly, it’s stuff we already know, and I have been studying it and living it for years, so I cannot stress this enough!! The main themes are concepts I try to live by: Positivity, attitude, purpose, passion, clarity, forgiveness, reciprocity, gratitude, self-knowledge. ENJOY!

-          What we think, we become! Thoughts create perception, perception turns into reality. So what you think literally magnifies itself. When you think to yourself “it’s going to be a long day” or “what could go wrong next” you’re asking for those things. Train yourself to think and live with POSITIVITY.

-          Your ATTITUDE is everything – it’s either in the way or leading the way. “Some days and Mondays are a kick in the pants, but you are the captain of your own ship”.

-          Four things you will inevitably encounter every day: 1) Changes 2) Challenges 3) The unexpected 4) Negative people.

-          Dr. Normal Vincent Peale affirms that 95% of the people in the world are conformers who conform to negativity.

-          Adults only smile an average of 20 times per day, sometimes as little as 5 times a day!

-          If you make $34k a year, you make more than ¾ of the world.

-          If we live in such a great country, why are so many people depressed and broke?

-          We’re trained that to find happiness, we must go to school, get a job, get promoted, buy a house, buy a car, etc. but once we get to the next level, what’s next? We’re never satisfied because we value material things and status.

-          You have to be fulfilled on the inside! This can only be accomplished when you find your PURPOSE.

-          If you’re actively working towards goals that align with your purpose, you WILL be successful.

-          If your purpose is coming to work every day, that is NOT a purpose. That comes from greed and fear! Do not let money control and consume you! Your purpose in life is much deeper than this, and it should determine what kind of work you do.

-          To go from ordinary to extraordinary, you need PASSION.

-          Average people remain average people because of lack of CLARITY.

-          Ask yourself – When did you last risk failure? When did you last step outside of your comfort zone?

-          Don’t be afraid of change! It can be uncomfortable, but change needs to happen for good things to come. 

-          You have only failed if you’ve given up.

-          Be a Pollyanna – defined as “an excessively cheerful and optimistic person”.

-          There is so much power in FORGIVENESS – holding grudges will hold you back. You must forgive two people: 1) Those that hurt you the most (if not, you will only attract more of them) and 2) most importantly, yourself! 

-          People with negative or miserable attitudes usually do not realize it. Do an inventory and get rid of the bad apples in your life! You may not even realize how toxic people can be and how much drama they create. “Not everyone you know can come with you on your journey”. There may be family, friends and coworkers that you must deal with, but compartmentalize your dealings with them. 

-          If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up! RECIPROCITY comes back in time! Lift at least two people up per day, and live in service to helping others!

-          Maintain an attitude of GRATTITUDE – The more thankful we are, the more we receive. Journal things you’re thankful for each day.

-          SELF-KNOWLEDGE is more important that any formal education. We should work even harder at ourselves than at our work, because when WE become great, we also become awesome at our jobs! 

-          Everyone has something to offer, no one is better than anyone else. LOVE YOURSELF!

XOXO ❤️

Life Lessons Learned from Kayaking

Since I moved to Hawaii, I have really pushed myself out of my comfort zone and tried to be more adventurous. It’s so crucial to make the most of my time here and enjoy all the amazing activities the island has to offer. In general, I absolutely love it! I’ve become a fan of snorkeling and hiking, and tried stand up paddle boarding, swimming with dolphins, riding a submarine, and even got into a shark cage. The time finally came to try kayaking, something I had been so excited to explore as it’s a huge local favorite. A friend of mine from work had some extra kayaks and luckily they’re the kind you pedal with your legs rather than paddle with your arms, making it much easier to operate. One of the most talked about things to do here is to kayak out to the sandbars in Kaneohe Bay, off the East Coast of Oahu. So we finally made plans to make this happen, and it all went down this past Saturday.

At first it’s a little weird learning to balance and not topple over, but me and my friend did well for our first time and were really enjoying it. So we pedaled out to the first sandbar, which took over an hour since we were going against the current and the winds. It was a lot farther than we ever imagined it would be when seeing it from land. When we finally got there, we were so delighted. It was gorgeous! I had a waterproof box I had bought just for this occasion, and in it were my phone and small wallet. I took out my phone to take pics of the beautiful scenery and of course some selfies. As I reached back over to put the phone back in the box, I leaned over just a bit too much while a bigger wave hit me and my kayak capsized, flipping upside down and knocking me, my phone and wallet into the ocean at about 20-30 feet deep.

At first, I kind of panicked because I was trapped under the kayak and had my life vest on so I couldn’t swim under to get out. After a few moments, I was able to escape. I was hoping and praying I had closed the box just in time to save my stuff, but the kayak was too heavy to flip back over to check. Finally, some guy in small sailboat came over to help me flip it back around and of course everything was gone, including my snorkel gear set which was bungeed down to the kayak, so that surprised me and just added insult to injury. I remember frantically swimming around trying to see if I could find anything floating on the surface, but the current was so strong and it was wearing me out. My friend who was still upright in her kayak was moving around and looking, but couldn’t find anything either. I was just trying not to imagine the sharks I’ve heard about in this area. Finally my other friend came to rescue me and pull me into the sandbar.

I was devastated, not because I flipped over because thank god I was okay and all that happened to me is I got wet and exhausted. But because I felt so defeated since I just lost my entire life, both my wallet with my state ID, Maryland driver’s license, and military ID, as well as my bank card, credit cards, and all my gift cards. To make matters worse I scraped the hell out of my foot on some sharp coral and then got the worst sunburn I’ve ever had on my face, I guess due to my sunscreen washing off and the sun being so much stronger where we were. But like everyone kept reminding me, it could have been a lot worse. Some people pass out from things like this, which could have led to drowning. It literally happens all the time on the news here with hikers and swimmers dying from freak accidents. So I felt really thankful.

I will admit this had me pretty depressed at first. I spent the last few days getting new IDs, cancelling cards, and getting my life back in order. However, I met with my friend and life coach yesterday, and she reminded me that everything happens for a reason, and asked me to list the lessons I had learned from this unfortunate incident. It made me realize a lot so I’d like to share the four main things I actually gained from what originally appeared to be such a great loss.

1)     I have some amazing friends. It’s easy to feel kind of isolated and lonely at times when you’re so far away from home. But on this day, the 5 people I was with were so good to me and had my back. One friend bought me dinner afterwards, and the other loaned me cash and ordered me a new phone. Plus they were all very concerned and comforting. I can't imagine how much worse this would have went if I was not surrounded by great people willing to help, so I am truly grateful.

2)     Material things can be replaced. Yes, it cost me $175 to replace my phone, $50 to order a new snorkel set, plus the cost of all the gift cards I’ll never be able to replace. But that monetary value plus the effort it took to get everything replaced does not compare even slightly to the value of my life and safety. Life moved on and everything is back in order. I beat myself up over this since I have never, ever lost my wallet or phone before. But what seemed initially like my world had ended actually wasn’t even that big of a deal in retrospect.

3)     Life without my phone for the past three days has actually been quite liberating. It’s made me realize just how glued to my phone and addicted I really am, and that living in the moment is so much more important. I’ve been more productive, slept better, and have spent time cleaning, watching movies, reading, and resting. Being connected to the world via smartphones is SO distracting and I never truly understood how much until now.

4)     I should have never had those items with me to begin with. While I thought I was being smart by not leaving my valuables in the car, it was actually a mistake in hindsight. Yes, the pictures probably would have been gorgeous and made great memories, but do I really need to always capture every moment? Aside from posting pics on social media, I am a very sentimental person and I love to look back on old pics and reminisce on old memories later on. But honestly, being present and enjoying the experience is all that really matters.

The reason I wanted to post this is because it is proof that you really can see the positive in any situation. Something that seems like it couldn’t be worse can always teach you many lessons. This is an awesome example that I will never forget. And guess what? I would (and will) do it again! Besides this unfortunate circumstance, kayaking was a great time and a lot of fun. Next time will be a totally different and a better experience with these positive lessons learned!

XOXO ❤️

"Business for the Soul" Retreat

This past weekend (Aug 8-9, 2015) I attended a women’s retreat called “Business for the Soul”. It was organized by a new friend of mine, who is an amazing healer and a very positive, conscious person. She is also the President of the Honolulu Chapter of Femfessionals, a networking community for women.  So when she invited me to join, I was very honored and excited, especially because they were about to have their first ever retreat. A weekend full of business advice, motivational speakers, yoga, and food? Yeah! Count me in!

The event was held at the Lotus Hotel in Waikiki. Among a beautiful set up in the banquet room, about 20 women, both professionals and entrepreneurs, gathered for a day of enjoyment. We began with a light breakfast and lots of yummy tea and lemonade from one of the sponsors, Ulu’s Lemonade. After a welcome introduction, our fantastic speakers began their presentations, with topics as such as self-love and time management. Between speeches, we practiced yoga stretches and breathing techniques. We broke out into groups or worked with partners to complete several exercises which were really helpful for me, such as creating affirmations and writing our values and goals in order to construct a personal mission statement. So we got to interact with each other a lot and get to know each other, especially during our delicious lunch. We also got to do some group hypnosis to reinforce some positive affirmations and build confidence. Finally, at the end we all headed up to the penthouse suite that was rented out for us. We enjoyed some Absolute Vodka, another sponsor, dinner and cake, as well as spectacular views from the wrap-around lanai. It was a great way to bond and exchange many laughs.  

On the second day, we did an hour of yoga and heard a really powerful presentation from a member who has a non-profit that speaks out against domestic violence. Her testimony had many of us in tears, and her message was very moving. After a weekend of uplifting material, it was kind of a downer but still so important for us to discuss. She mentioned finding the positive and the lesson in every situation, and had us write down 10 things we appreciate about someone who we don’t like or who drives us crazy. This was pretty powerful, as it proves how you can always focus on the positive and forgive. During lunch, we began reflecting on the weekend and the connection we all established with each other. Then we all went around sharing our favorite inspirational quotes. Finally, each of us won at least one prize as our names were picked for different raffles. In a way, we are all kind of sad when it was ending but we all exchanged info and chatted a bit.

A day later, I am still in awe of what an incredible event this turned out to be. The positive energy was just SO strong! And it is still resonating with me even on the next day. The best part was that literally every single woman there was amazing and genuine. Most were local Hawaiians but even those of us from the mainland fit in and were welcomed with aloha. Everyone was supporting, accepting and encouraging each other, and all open to ways to improve ourselves and our businesses or careers. Each of us was able to share from the heart without any fear of judgment. I feel we all developed a great bond and really will keep in touch and get together every so often too. I left there feeling so good about the awesome new friends I made. It’s so important to be surrounded by an uplifting circle, and this is just what I was hoping and praying for.

Another huge takeaway was that I got so many great ideas for my future business and other endeavors. I feel that I have reached a crossroads in life, and as I embrace my true authentic self, I am more drawn to my creative and entrepreneurial sides than ever. I’ve always known that someday I wanted to start a business, and over the last several months I have been torn with trying to determine which direction I want to go in so I can begin putting a plan into place. The problem is I have so many passions, so it’s hard to narrow it down. However, this retreat brought me so much clarity and I finally had an a-ha moment about what I want to do. I could not be more excited.

Honestly, this was one of the most life changing weekends of my life and I am so glad I invested in myself by attending. I consider myself so blessed to have found this group and to have been a part of this unforgettable experience, so I just had to share. I’ve already had a friend all the way in New York messaging me about wanting to join a similar community in her area. It is so important not only for me but for all women to come together and stick together. While I have become more of a loner over the years, I still know how important sisterhood is for those trying to grow professionally, personally and spiritually. Not only do women in these kinds of networks look out for each other in the business world by promoting each other’s businesses, trading services, sharing ideas, and expanding networks, but we all prosper from our collective success and empowerment. Aside from the personal benefits I have discussed, I have no doubt that the legacy of this retreat will be absolutely remarkable with what all of us will go out to accomplish! And for anyone reading, I highly encourage you to attend a similar event or workshop when you get the opportunity to!

IDK About You, But #BlackLivesMatter to Me!

I have to go ahead and admit that I am completely fed up. Absolutely sick and tired. Every single day as I scroll through my Facebook feed, I am overwhelmed by the inundation of videos capturing racism and police brutality. Over the last few years, I have simply lost count of all the victims that lost their lives or were unjustly abused. I’m totally livid about it. AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO.

The murder of Freddie Gray which sparked the Baltimore riots earlier in the year hit home for me, although each and every case never ceases to disgust me. Everything from the undeniably innocent Eric Garner being choked to death in NYC to the teenage girl getting manhandled in the Texas pool party incident. However, the recent death of Sandra Bland particularly bothered me. I’m sure this case needs no introduction so I will not even get into the facts. I truly do not believe she committed suicide, but I know the chances of more evidence being released to prove this is highly unlikely. Regardless of the sad outcome, there is NO doubt that she should not have been arrested in the first place. Even if it was a suicide, which is highly unlikely, it could have been avoided. No one should get verbally abused, physically assaulted, and arrested for a simple traffic violation. Did she have an attitude? Sure. I would have too, and many do when dealing with asshole cops or getting pulled over for nonsense. But guess what? Having an attitude is NOT against the law or any cause for arrest!

What I’m most mad over is how so many people can deny what is blatant and justify unacceptable behavior by police or the prevalence of racism in our society. I am left with so many questions. Where is the outrage?! How come everyone glossed over the slaying of nine innocent people at the historic AME church in Charleston?! How come there was no media coverage for the many other churches burned down afterwards, and the disgusting display of hatred and prejudice by people defending the Confederate flag?! Why have so many reports of people dying in their jail cells emerged since Sandra Bland’s death?! How come police are still using excessive force for minor infractions and how many more were NOT captured on camera?! How come American citizens aren’t angry over basic human rights being violated?! Why are we dealing with this in 2015?!

One video I saw today truly amazed me. An Australian guy witnessed police murder someone, then heard them proudly admit it, and he was absolutely stunned. He questioned why they couldn’t use mace or a taser instead of shooting them dead. Another good question! Even if someone is a criminal, they don’t deserve to die or be beaten mercilessly. They have constitutional rights to a fair trial like anyone else, which won’t happen when they’re dead! It’s so astounding that people don’t even seem to value human life anymore. We’re so desensitized that when another mass murder or police killing happens, we don’t even care. It’s apparent to me that we’re taking huge step backwards in the U.S. Other countries are watching and they’re horrified with how we treat our own citizens. No other advanced nation has such a high percentage of its citizens incarcerated, or has video proof of corrupt and racist police yet do nothing.

I guess the reason so many people don’t care is because they feel it doesn’t affect them, which is wrong. Your privilege will NOT save you every time. In one video I saw the other day, a white woman was severely beaten up by police for talking on her cell phone while driving. Though it’s usually racially motivated, it’s getting to the point where anyone can be a victim. Should we all fear for our lives when we get pulled over or interact with the police? God forbid you say the wrong thing. You could end up as the next hashtag.

Oh and please understand one thing. I have the highest respect for law enforcement.  I know that a majority of them are good people who truly do risk their lives to serve their communities. However, there’s just way too many that are power hungry and sadistic, and we’re not doing enough about it. These people are required to take an oath to serve and protect every single one of us, not to beat us, murder us, and violate our rights. It’s just now starting to be more visible due to cell phone cameras and social media, but this has been going on for far too long. Killing someone should always be the last resort. That is just undebatable. It’s just really gone too far and become too common and almost expected. Who do you call on the police when THEY break the law? Who is going to police the police??? Pretty scary when you think about it.

It makes my blood boil that people care more about the fucking Kardashians than countless innocent lives being lost right here in our backyards. The media certainly doesn’t help with distracting people from what’s important. Yes, I was sad over Cecil the lion too, but it blew my mind how people seemed more upset about that than they’ve ever been over black people dying. Even worse is how I see people leaving ignorant comments or saying "they need to get over it" which only illustrates how divided we are. I have to reason with myself that some just don’t get it and never will. It’s painful to witness a time like this and to feel so helpless. I guess most people who don’t have to deal with racial profiling or worrying if their family member will die in the street will just never understand.

What's worse than racism being denied is that it's still not even fully understood by so many. We’ve advanced in so many areas, yet just don’t seem to want to acknowledge the facts. I guess the truth hurts.

Here is what people seem to miss when it comes to racism. It’s NOT just about the millions of people murdered and mistreated over the centuries, although that should be enough. But what’s just as bad is the exploitation of an entire race that still benefits the very people who deny this to this day. The white man would not be what he is today without the genocide of Natives and the enslavement of Africans, who were not only physically building this country into what it became, but whose labor (i.e. cotton and tobacco plantations) became the backbone of the American economy. This allowed generations of whites to prosper and generate wealth to bequeath to their heirs, including those who have white privilege today. They would not be who they are or have what they have without the pain, suffering, murder, and robbery that their ancestors took part in and directly profited from. All while the African American community has only been given basic rights in recent history, and yet STILL is not even treated according to those rights. Their communities were designed to fail, while the blood of their ancestors has lifted up the communities of their oppressors. 

Now African Americans face unbelievably grave figures when it comes to the likelihood of them being racially profiled, arrested, and sentenced to longer jail time compared to any other race in the U.S. I actually took a class on this in undergrad that absolutely changed my life and open my eyes to some very alarming info. Believe me I could go on and on when it comes to this subject, but I'll attempt to keep it brief. Basically, 1 in every 3 black males will go to prison in their lifetime, mostly for petty crimes that whites get a slap on the wrist for (if that). Yet statistics show they're not the leading race in committing crimes, they're just the ones who are more frequently caught and prosecuted. This is a direct result of police being trained to target and stereotype. So the ending of the age of slavery did NOT mean freedom, it simply created the beginning of the age of incarceration. Black people in this country went from slaves to prisoners. I consider this a new form of slavery. It pains my heart, but it’s reality.

While I know many people who feel so passionately about this issue and want to make a difference, sometimes I wonder if the damage is done and if it’s too late. How do we fix systemic racism at this point? There are a lot of things wrong with the world today and American society in particular. Greed, corporate and political corruption, environmental irresponsibility, the poisoning of our citizens via GMOs and food/pharmaceutical companies, inequality, and of course racism. However, I think the attitude that each of us has no power in this is what got us here. We should all stay informed at the very least. It’s more critical now than ever to take an active approach on spreading awareness, protesting when needed, and using our rights to vote and be heard. For those that turn a blind eye and focus all their energy on other trivial things like the Meek vs Drake beef, instead of important things that actually matter, you’re just as bad as the oppressor. History is bound to repeat itself if we ignore it, and that’s exactly what I see happening now. A little blog post like this may not be much, but hey if me ranting and sharing my opinion has expanded even just one person’s view, then my mission is accomplished. Now is the time to keep these discussions and dialogues going, even if just so the lives lost will not be in vain. Let’s make their lives matter.  

XOXO ❤️

Birthday Recap

This past weekend I celebrated my 28th birthday. I wanted to take a minute and recap what I did, but also share a reflection that I thought was pretty significant.

First, I held a dinner a few nights before my actual birthday. I had been dying to try a Moroccan and Lebanese restaurant in downtown Honolulu that I found out about, called Kan Zaman. Being of Moroccan descent on my dad’s side, I was curious to see how authentic this place would be and how they were representing Mediterranean culture all the way here in Hawaii, halfway across the world. Overall, it was a great experience. The food, including hummus, braised lamb and couscous, was pretty good. The Moroccan mint tea and the entertainment provided by the belly dancer were definitely highlights for me.
Then on Saturday, the day of my actual birthday, I rested and relaxed all morning. Later on, some friends and I attended the Mayjah Rayjah reggae music festival at the Waikiki Shell. I was super excited about this as it’s supposed to be one of the best events of the year. It definitely did not disappoint! I had such a fabulous evening camped out on the grass hearing great reggae music from not only local Hawaiian bands, but some from the mainland, New Zealand and even Tarrus Riley from Jamaica. Between sets, there was an amazing DJ that definitely had us turning up to the fullest. I totally didn’t expect to dance my butt off like that! The crowd was awesome and the vibes were perfect. I truly enjoyed it and couldn’t have spent my birthday more perfectly.
Finally on Sunday, a bunch of coworkers and I held a big beach BBQ at Bellows Beach on the east coast of Oahu. The food was great, the turquoise water was gorgeous scenery, and despite a couple people getting stung by Portuguese Man o’ Wars, we all had a great time.
Although every weekend here in Hawaii is pretty freaking amazing, this weekend was particularly special. While some get bummed out about birthdays and aging, I embrace it. I view each birthday as a significant milestone, a great triumph to have survived another year of life and a reason to celebrate. More importantly, a birthday is the perfect time to reflect on where we’re at, how we’ve done over the past year, and also where we’re headed. I understand that honest self-reflection is not easy for many, but it can be a powerful tool in setting and achieving goals. For me, it’s absolutely essential.
This year in particular has been one of many accomplishments and great change for me. But honestly, I can’t ever remember being in such a good place as I am now. Hawaii was a good move for me, not only for obvious reasons, but because it is a very conscious place which has directly facilitated a lot of progress spiritually. I have been on this path to a higher consciousness since 2011, but it wasn’t until now that a shift occurred which really rocked me to my core. After just six months, I feel so much more awakened. I see such a change in myself that I feel like a totally different person with totally different priorities. I finally really found myself and my purpose in life, and I look at things totally different. I feel like a big hippie, but it feels really good.

In a way it’s kind of tough because I feel so disconnected from the mainstream and I can’t really relate to most people anymore. While many I know still care about designer clothes, material things, hitting the club, physical beauty, reality TV, gossip, and relationship drama, I now find those things so trivial and unappealing. I am focused on attaining knowledge, understanding the universe, connecting with nature, utilizing the law of attraction, meditating, holistic health, reading enlightening books, and all the other “new age” stuff that people laugh at or don’t think twice about. I am contemplating my future as an entrepreneur in ways I never even expected, re-discovering my passion for writing, and also exploring ways to network with like-minded folks who embrace consciousness and the truth I’ve come to know. But the most important thing is that I truly stopped caring about what other people think, pleasing or impressing anyone, or validation from others. I have finally fully accepted myself, who I am, and that I have never and will never really fit in. I now embrace it.

I know life will never be perfect or always filled with this peace and love and happy hippie stuff. I have a long way to go and still have a LOT to learn. There are still plenty of things I wish were different or areas of my life I would change if I could. In fact, I am quite sure that will always be the case. But this crossroad that I’ve reached is so profound. I thought I had it all figured out and was moving in the right direction, but it took moving out here to realize that no, this isn't all there is. There's more. And it's just below the surface. I'm close to getting where I'm destined to be. So I'm going to push myself until I find it. It feels great to be here in such a good place and on the right path. I am filled with gratitude each and every day, which will only keep the blessings rolling in. It all may sound silly or cliché to some, but I see it as huge leaps of progress and significant growth. The honest truth is I have never felt happier, more filled with joy and totally at peace. I find myself really living in the moment and therefore enjoy everything so much more.
So yes, this particular birthday was a big deal for me. It took me 28 years, but I’m finally comfortable with me and at a much higher frequency than ever before. I debated posting such a deep and personal reflection like this in my blog, but I figure the most that can happen if anyone actually reads this is that I will possibly inspire someone else, and if so, then it’s worth it. Everyone has their own path in life, and that’s the beauty of it all. For me personally, this journey has been filled with ups and downs, so things like this mean a lot to me. I don’t care so much about how much money I’m making or how many friends I have, but rather I am finding that true wealth is in spiritual evolution. Reaching this point has made me more proud than my degrees, my career, or anything else. Now I look forward to the future more than ever, and I believe that many others are reaching similar points too. There is no doubt that the collective consciousness of the world is evolving and reaching a higher level, as more eyes are opened each and every day. I have high hopes for many others to soon experience this glimpse of enlightenment like I have!

XOXO ❤️