Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Birthday Reflection: The 27 Most Important Lessons I've Learned In My 27 Years



As I approach my 27th birthday in a few days, it’s got me thinking. Someone recently reminded me that this is not a particularly significant birthday, such as your 21st, 30th or 50th birthday is. 27 is just…. 27. But I can’t fully agree. I believe every birthday is significant and I have always been a big proponent of celebrating them accordingly. While many of us dread getting older, we shouldn’t. Each year you live to see another is an accomplishment. You survived. Many who did not live to see your age will not see this blessing. And truthfully, you never know if this is the last birthday you will be celebrating. Nothing taught me this more than losing my grandma last year. I truly view life as a gift. So each year is something to be cherished and appreciated, whether it’s your 27th or 42nd. No, your actual age doesn’t mean much and the number may seem trivial, but rather where you are in life and how much you have grown is the true accomplishment and worthy of celebration.

For me, I see significant growth. To be where I am today means a lot to me when I look back at where I’ve come from. I am impressed with and proud of the person I have become. I can look back and see how much I’ve changed and grown not just in a year, but even in the last few months alone. Though I am always a work in progress, I am very pleased with the progress made so far. I truly like who I’m becoming each day and I’m thoroughly enjoying this journey and learning a lot. It’s a great feeling.



I believe the wisdom I’ve attained in just 27 years is reason enough to celebrate this birthday with enthusiasm and excitement. Therefore, in honor of my 27th birthday, here are 27 of the most important life lessons I have learned so far.


1.    Someday may never come. Nike’s slogan may be the simplest yet most brilliant concept ever. Just… Do… It!
2.    Learning the laws of attraction will change your life for the better and open doors you never imagined. You CAN have it all. And it’s all based on your thoughts, which hold incredible and endless power. Use them wisely.
3.    The day I stopped caring about what others think is the day I became free.
4.    Never allow life to taint you so much that you become bitter. I have been hurt, wronged, lied to, cheated on, stolen from, and had my heart ripped out, broken, stomped on, and thrown away. But I still believe in the inherent good within most people. Yes, there are bad guys, lots of them. But it’s NOT most people. Give each individual a fair chance and the benefit of the doubt. Judge them on nothing else besides their actions and character. Each of us are on different levels of awareness and consciousness, and many are limited. But we are all doing the best we can. Never give up on people or lose faith. And never take the wrongdoings or ill intent of others personally. It is NOT you, it’s THEM. It is not about how you are treated but rather, it’s about how YOU react.
5.    Perspective is EVERYTHING. All of the things we think matter truly don’t in the end. Money, material things, popularity, looks…. All of it can be lost at any given moment and none of it will keep you happy long-term. Stop dwelling on it and basing your existence around it. Many people in this world with the least are actually the happiest. We have a lot to learn from them. We each possess the power to define our own happiness.
6.    People grow apart. And that’s okay. Don’t hold onto relationships or friendships that serve no purpose in your life. Learn to let go or love people from a distance.
7.    Taking care of your body is the most important thing we can do. Life is so fragile and our bodies are truly living miracles that manage to combat illnesses and diseases, endure constant wear and tear, and still manage to function so amazingly. Eat well, drink water, sleep properly and exercise. I have definitely not been the best at those 4 simple things but I am certainly trying. You can never reverse the damage you do to your health, but it’s never too late to aim for healthy habits. So listen to your body and treat it like the temple that it is.
8.    Traveling is the next best thing for the soul besides meditation. It expands your perspective in ways that nothing else can. You not only learn about other cultures and the beautiful world around us, but you learn priceless lessons about YOURSELF. I question how anyone can doubt the existence of a creator and a higher being after witnessing the glory that is this incredible planet. Then I realize, they just must not have done much traveling.
9.    Throughout the world, we face endless differences and challenges. Yet we are united by universal values such as love, compassion and family. Those are the things that translate to any culture or language you can encounter, and you can easily see they mean a lot to most people no matter where you go. We are all human beings first and foremost, regardless of the many factors that divide us.
10. Life is not meant to be fair. Once you accept this and learn to make the best of things, it will get a lot easier. Everything is all about balance, which means good AND bad. Both forms of energy are equally important. We would not know happiness and pleasure if we did not know sadness and pain.
11. It’s never too late. You can and SHOULD have the life you dreamed of. NEVER settle for anything less than exactly what you want and what makes you the happiest. You can quit your job. You can move. You can leave your spouse. You can start your own business. You can literally do anything your heart desires or end anything that makes you unhappy. But you and no one else are responsible for your own choices and results. You control your destiny. You cannot blame your unhappiness or circumstance on anyone but yourself. Instead, you can change anything that is not working for you. Maybe not overnight, but definitely in time by setting goals, making plans and going for it. As they say about winning the lottery, “you have to play to win”. You have to take action. It will take work and sacrifice. It may be hard and uncomfortable, and most likely it will take a while. But I promise you, it will be worth it. Never allow yourself to get too comfortable. Take risks. Playing it safe can and will lead to regrets. And living with regrets is not living at all. You do not want to wake up one day when you’re old and gray and realize all the things you could have, should have, would have done.
12. Don’t judge others simply because you do not understand them. Understand that you were never meant to understand everyone and everything. You truly NEVER know what the next person has gone through. That person who cut you off in traffic or who was rude to you in the store could have cancer or be dealing with a death in the family, or come from a background that you can’t even fathom.
13. Study the concepts of energy and karma. It is more than just new age mumbo jumbo. It is REAL. Once I learned the TRUTH about this I never looked back. Keep your energy as pure as possible, as it is exactly what you will get back. Be kind to everyone, treat them well and do good deeds whenever possible. Always give it your all and do the right thing, even when no one knows about it. It always comes back to you. Compassion and good intentions are the key to life and the basis of our purpose here on this earth.
14. Embrace new cultures and welcome new experiences. Be open-minded. You may learn something new and you may find something you love. We all come from different walks of life and have our own experiences and paths. That is the beauty of it all. Try to learn as much as you can from others.
15. Hard work and consistency pay off in everything and anything. Those who exert great effort and never give up will have it all. Find what you LOVE to do and go for it. Survival of the fittest tells us that in ancient times, those who did not go out and hunt/gather their food simply did not eat. The same applies now. Except it’s more than just surviving, it’s contributing something valuable to society based on your unique skills and capabilities. We will all spend a majority of our lives working. So we might as well love and enjoy what we do. And when you LOVE what you do, that is when you work the hardest, which leads to moving up and getting ahead anyway. Plus our work says a lot about us. Make it something you believe in, feel passionate about, and wake up every morning excited to do. This is how you can give the most back and make a difference in the world. Your work.
16. We must learn to pick and choose our battles. You don’t always need the last word. You can’t always get others to see your point of view. You won’t always win. Sometimes “get over it” sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
17. Keep studying. Constantly. Never lose curiosity. Remain an eternal student. You can never have enough knowledge. Soak it up like a sponge. It is the one thing in life that can never be taken away from you and never loses value. Challenge your brain. You will be amazed at its capabilities. Aim to learn at least one new thing a day or be constantly working towards one goal (learning a new language, studying a topic of interest, practicing a skill, etc.) at any given time.
18. Technology has improved and enhanced many facets of our lives, but it has also taken away many simple joys and pleasures in life, and instead added unnecessary complexity. I am in fact old enough to remember the days when you could not be reached 24 hours a day, when you shared your every thought and personal business with only your diary, and when people knew how to communicate properly because they had no choice. I find those who are so consumed with social networks and technology miss out on a lot of the most enjoyable moments. I am guilty of this at times, but I am trying to do better. Either way, I still cannot believe anyone is truly living life to the fullest if they are always on social networks or glued to the phone. THAT IS NOT LIVING!
19. Fitting into the norms of society is not for everyone. We are so constrained by the pressure to go to school, get a good job, get married, buy a home, and have kids. This cookie-cutter lifestyle may work well for many but it doesn’t necessarily have to be YOUR story. You are given one life to live and it’s YOURS. You dictate your own rules. You do not need to explain yourself or apologize for your choices. You are not here to please others or to live this precious gift according to their standards and expectations… You owe nothing to anyone. You have to live life for YOU and do what makes you happy by any means necessary. As long as you do so in an ethical and legal manner, you have the freedom to live unconventionally. People will respect you more for being yourself anyway!
20. Expectations are the root of unhappiness for all human beings. Reading an article about this in my MBA program made me realize how true this is. Human suffering is self-inflicted. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we set our expectations too high. We can never be satisfied because even when we get what we want, we will always want more. One can remain optimistic without expecting total perfection and satisfaction from every situation and especially from other individuals. The truth is you can only rely on yourself as it is inevitable that everything comes to an end and that you will not always get along with others or agree with them. Set reasonable expectations to avoid let downs.
21. Learn to forgive. Holding onto grudges is harboring negative energy, which can literally cause cancer. Even if they did you wrong, even if you can’t forget it, even if it will always hurt, find it within yourself to truly forgive yourself and others. This is the cause of 99% of our unhappiness, illnesses and problems. Let it go.
22. Jealousy is a really hideous trait. Seeing others with things you desire should only motivate you. Stop wasting energy being envious of others. Rather, spend it focusing on putting yourself in a position to achieve what you are lacking. And for those of us who have to deal with these individuals, realize that some really are just miserable and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t waste energy on these people. The best thing you can do is pray for them, as they need it.
23. Time is a precious asset. You can always make more money but you can never earn more time. It is not promised and it flies by. Think about how quickly or a month seems to pass. So time must be used very wisely and strategically, making every second count. At the same time, do not become a slave to time. It is not really real. Children and animals get along just fine without constraints and pressure centered around the concept of time. This is why enjoying the moment is so essential. Truly living in the moment is the only REAL form of happiness we can attain. Worrying about the past or the future is preventing you from full appreciating the NOW.
24. The stigma associated with being single is…. Quite frankly… Bullshit. You do NOT need a partner to make you whole or complete you, no matter what they tell you. You also should not depend on another for your own happiness or base your entire world around someone else. It’s beautiful to be in love and to be married. But it’s not the end-all-be-all of life. It should not define you. YOU define you. Some of the happiest people in the world are single and some of the most miserable are married. And things are not always as they seem. No relationship or marriage is perfect or easy. The reality is that you absolutely cannot be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself. So that comes first.
25. Spending time alone is critical for every person. This is something that every adult should experience and truly needs. Learn to enjoy your own company and discover who you are. Do things YOU love. Alone. Go places. Alone. This is how you grow and develop the most important relationship of your life – the one with yourself. How you treat yourself will be the basis for how everyone else treats you. Learning about yourself and loving yourself is the foundation of ALL your relationships and endeavors, as it builds character, self-esteem and wisdom.
26. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Accept that you will never be perfect but as long as you’re trying your best and learning, it’s okay. Learn to recognize when you’re wrong and to genuinely apologize. Don’t dwell on it. Move on.
27. It ALWAYS gets better and works out. Everything really does happen for a reason. It’s all going to be okay.

And one more for good luck…
28. Laughter has a healing power. Yet the average person laughs just 17 times a day. That’s not nearly enough. Learn to take life less seriously and have fun in all you do. The positive energy you put out into the universe makes the world a better place and returns right back to you!

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