Know Thyself

It’s not often that I can discuss much of what I do at work. However I had an excellent experience that I can actually share so I would definitely like to. I am fortunate enough to be offered a wide array of classes, briefings, workshops, and various training opportunities at my job. Many of them are work related but some are strictly for professional or personal growth, which is awesome. When I signed up for this Myers-Briggs workshop, I didn’t think much about it besides that it might be interesting. I had already done something similar in a communication improvement group exercise about 10 months back. So this time around I was actually going to cancel to be quite honest because I was super busy. Well I am super glad that I made time and attended.

A week before our scheduled workshop, we were asked to come in to take a brief 15 minute test of about 100 questions where we were to answer as truthfully as possible based on our first instinct. It was a lot more in-depth and detailed than I thought. This was administered by a senior employee who was actually certified in Myers-Briggs training. I have always been interested in psychology since my very first semester in undergrad so I was very intrigued. So what is this Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) crap anyway? It’s a well-known and trusted way to evaluate personality types. Developed by Carl Jung a century ago, the theory behind MBTI is that human behavior is pretty predictable and is based purely upon perception. Really pretty fascinating stuff and actually quite accurate.

So finally it was time. Our 1.5 hour workshop consisted of a briefing explaining each level of the four levels of MBTI and asking us to identify ourselves on a scale for each. The first level is whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert. I honestly can’t figure this one out. Anyone who knows me would assume I am a blaring extrovert since I am very friendly, social, outgoing, and even bubbly at times. However when reading the description of introverts, I can honestly identify with it a whole lot. I really value my alone time and hate working in groups. I think I was born an extrovert but as I get older, I become more introverted. But nevertheless I know I am mostly extroverted. So I went ahead and made up my mind and rated myself. 

The next level was sensing versus intuition. The difference is sensors are more about facts and reality whereas the intuitive type are more about the “big picture” or impressions. I definitely knew I was a high up on the sensor side. The third level related to thinking versus feeling. I am probably 70% thinker, which means I am more so about logic, analytics, consistency, and making decisions. On the other hand feelers are more likely to lean towards values, sensitivity towards people, and compassion. Finally the last level is judging and perceiving. I felt I am almost 100% on the judging side. I am all about planning, being decisive, making lists, work before play, extreme organization, and routine. Those that are more on the perceiving side are more about being flexible, spontaneous, casual, adaptive, and working best when approaching deadlines. 

So finally, when we evaluated ourselves based on the guidance we were briefed and after completing a short group exercise (the introvert in me hates those, by the way) we were actually given our results. This pretty much freaked me out. It’s a weird feeling reading all about yourself as if the person who wrote the information KNOWS you. While I was correct about the categories I put myself into, some of my ratings for the scale for each level were slightly off. Overall, I guess I know myself pretty well. I am 73% extrovert, 97% sensor, 65% thinker and 97% judgment-based. This ESTJ combination is referred to as “the Guardian”, as my complete listing (found here) indicates. The basic summary lists me as:

“Practical, traditional, and organized. Likely to be athletic. Not interested in theory or abstraction unless they see the practical application. Have clear visions of the way things should be. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Exceptionally capable in organizing and running activities. "Good citizens" who value security and peaceful living.”

Some of the descriptions for my type that stuck out to me were:

• They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.

• ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles.

• They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

• The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.

• The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope.

That is pretty spot on for me. So over all, I was really excited and impressed with this activity. I learned a lot about myself, but was left wondering one thing: can EVERYONE take this test? Please?!

So why the hell am I blogging about a personality test? Because I feel it’s very important to know who you are. The older I get, the more aware I become of myself, including my many strengths and many weaknesses. Only when you are able to take an honest and open look at yourself can you become a better person. And I don’t know about you, but I am seriously on a mission to become the best that I can be every day in every way. Sounds corny but I genuinely mean it. And if that means eating some humble pie and working on my flaws, so be it. If it involves seizing opportunities like this to learn more about who I am and how I operate, then I’m all for it. Some people use the zodiac to decode who they are and understand themselves, which can be quite accurate in some ways as well. But I just wish more people knew about Myers-Briggs so they could also utilize the great discovery and reflection potential that it may offer.

To me, the best thing about self-awareness is that it allows you to be more aware of others as well and therefore drastically improve your interactions and relationships with those around you. Once we accept that people are who they are and that we cannot change them, life gets a lot easier. Whenever anyone gets frustrated with me, perhaps they can just stop and realize that I’m simply a ESTJ and I can’t help it. Ha!

I encountered a perfect example of this at work on Friday with my boss as a matter of fact. I find that her and I often bump heads when it comes to communicating our points or perspectives to each other. Eventually we make it there but it can be pretty frustrating along the way. I usually attribute this to her being a bull-headed Taurus and me being a ferocious Leo. But recently I realized we pretty much have polar opposite personalities. My boss is a micro-manager who constantly challenges others, feels the need to be right, and has to learn things the hard way. On the other hand, I prefer to work independently, hate being challenged, can’t stand people who always think they’re right (because I’m always right! Duh!) and learn so quickly that I can be quite impatient with others. As I said, total opposites. 

But honestly, my boss is a good person. She looks out for us, sincerely cares for each of us and she tries her best. She is new to management and therefore has a lot to learn, but she always means well. And sometimes just realizing a person’s intentions will help you to see the bigger picture. It’s okay not to see eye to eye. In fact it’s inevitable. You have to be able to work with different people and their personalities- it’s part of being a professional. When you recognize you don’t have to be defensive, you can take challenging situations like this and learn from them. So sometimes I just have to remind myself that my boss doesn’t even realize how she comes off. I discussed it with her on Friday after we kind of got into it. She welcomed me to express how I felt because she wanted the chance to correct the problem. So when I told her, she was totally surprised but really willing to listen. And for that alone, I commend her because it's not easy to welcome critique. We ended up being able to resolve the issue by the end of the conversation and made significant progress. We even skipped out the building chatting and laughing minutes later when we were heading home. 

The moral of the story is communication and understanding is everything. Carefully and delicately expressing how you feel is better than getting frustrated with others and never telling them. Things do need to be addressed, but it's all about your approach, which should be adjusted based upon your own known flaws and your understanding of others and their personalities and communication styles. And simply having an open mind about being receptive to others’ feelings can go along way. Whether it’s at work, at home or in your friendships, we all have to find common grounds to understand others’ different perspectives and deal with different personalities. The best place to begin is to thoroughly assess yourself. If you’re strong and brave enough, and willing to be honest about who you are and what you need to work on, one of the best benefits is greatly improving your relations with others.

Unfortunately we can’t force everyone to be aware of and embrace these concepts. The truth is some are not only unwilling, but perhaps incapable of self-reflection. And that's okay. It's all part of who they are, not who we are. Accept it. It's liberating. In the mean time, a least we can make a difference with ourselves and "be the best we can be". By just working on those things we can control, we can truly accomplish a lot.

For more info on MBTI, please visit: http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/